


gotta show the world the thunder

by mxsicalpup



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: F/M, Fertility Issues, Fluff, Light Angst, Married Couple, Pregnancy, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Pregnancy, they’re both trans fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 19:20:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14940320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxsicalpup/pseuds/mxsicalpup
Summary: “I want a baby.” Alex managed to get out before taking a sip of his wine. Him and Eliza were just eating dinner, the night blanketed in a comfortable silence up until then.Eliza made a choked noise around her fork, coughing slightly and putting a hand on her chest to breathe. “You what?”





	gotta show the world the thunder

“I want a baby.” Alex managed to get out before taking a sip of his wine. Him and Eliza were just eating dinner, the night blanketed in a comfortable silence up until then.

Eliza made a choked noise around her fork, coughing slightly and putting a hand on her chest to breathe. “You what?”

“I want a baby, Betsey.” He looked at her with nervousness, bouncing his knee up and down; one of his usual nervous ticks. “We’ve been married for five years. You still have a.. yknow.. and if you stop taking HRT you’ll start producing sperm again, right? It’s entirely possible for us to have a baby.” He swallowed a little, looking at her. Eliza was quiet for a few more moments, face blank, and Alex’s face twisted a little with worry. “You can say no, I was just suggesting it-“

“It sounds amazing, Alex.”

“Huh?”

“We could have a baby.” She covered her mouth, beaming widely and tearing up. Her tearful expression made him squeak and lean to take her free hand. “Betsey?”

“Imagine it, Alex. We could have a baby!” She started laughing quietly. “We could convert the guest room into a nursery, and we have enough backyard space for them, and we can raise them and love them... I’ve wanted a baby for so long.” She grinned at him, and Alex looked at her before grinning right back. “Then let’s have one. We have to talk to the doctors about, yknow, getting off the meds for a while...”

The mention of medicine made Eliza’s face change to one of concern. “Are you gonna be okay? The dysphoria might get really bad once you start showing a bump and such...” Alex let out a soft breath, rubbing her knuckles. “That’s why I have you. We have to comfort each other. You’re gonna be off your meds for a shorter time, but even still, we’re both gonna need support.”

“Yeah. But we’ll be okay, right?”

“We’ll be okay. We have each other.” Alex smiled knowingly, and Eliza smiled back. They were gonna have a baby.

* * *

 

They tried. They really did. Four times. And each time, the tests came up negative. Alex was itching in his skin, already thinking that it was his fault that they couldn’t have a baby like they wanted. Eliza, who had to shave every other day, did her best to convince him otherwise. After the fourth attempt, Eliza finally brought up going to the doctor, and they scheduled the appointment.

They both got tested, and were called back within two weeks. The doctor cleared his throat as he slipped into the office, moving to sit at the desk. Alex reached to grip Eliza’s hand. “So what’s the problem? I need to know if it’s my fault _right now._ “

The doctor shook his head. “No, no, nothing is out of order on that side. On the other side..” Eliza bit down on her lip as the doctor looked at her, “..Eliza, I’m afraid you have a low sperm count. Now, it is entirely possible for you two to still have a child, but the chances are slim.”

They were quiet for a few moments. Eliza looked at her lap, and Alex stared at the doctor before looking at Eliza. “Bets, that’s not.. so bad.. We can just keep trying.”

“Alexander, we’ve tried so many-“

“We can try again.”

“We can just adopt-“ Eliza let out another sigh as the doctor stood. “I believe you two should have this discussion at home. If either of you have any questions, please, do not hesitate to call.” He smiled almost pitifully, and they both thanked him before leaving to sit in the car.

Eliza settled both hands on the wheel, but didn’t start it. “It’s my fault.”

“Betsey-“

“It’s my fault that we can’t have a baby.”

“Betsey, we can still try, you know?”

“Maybe it’s a sign, Alex. This won’t work.” She looked over at him, sadness in her eyes matching the tears threatening to spill. It made Alex’s voice crack slightly. “Betsey, hey, it’s okay. We can try again another time, you know? It’s okay. Not today, definitely another time.”

“Alex..”

“Please.” He touched her arm, squeezed it lightly. He looked pleading, and still hopeful despite it. Eliza hiccuped softly and reached across the console to hug him tightly. “We can try another time.”

“Yeah, another time.”

* * *

 

Alex felt like shit for the past month. He threw up practically every morning, and was constantly nauseous throughout the day. It took him up until the week that he was supposed to get his period, and he missed it.

Eliza wasn’t home yet, and he managed to run out to the pharmacy and buy two separate tests for himself to do. He went back, took the tests, sat vigil in the bathroom and waited it out. He was shaking like a leaf, because he didn’t think that it would actually happen one day.

The door unlocked just as the tests finished up, and the results came through. Eliza, downstairs, called gently up to him. “Sweetheart? You feeling better?”

She waited for a moment, getting a little concerned before heading upstairs. “Baby? You okay?”

“Bathroom.”

She looked down the hall before hurrying down it, looking at him with worry. “What’s the matter? Are you okay?”

He slowly turned, a nervous look on his face as he held both tests in his hands. His voice was barely above a whisper. “I’m pregnant.”

Eliza stared at him. “You’re what?”

“I’m pregnant, Betsey.”

“You’re positive?”

“Yeah, I am. One hundred percent.” He broke out into a smile, sniffling a little as Eliza grinned and stepped into the bathroom to hug him, starting to laugh. “You’re pregnant!”

“I’m pregnant!”

“We’re gonna have a baby!”

He laughed and nodded, clinging to her tightly as he was lifted and spun around. They hugged for a bit before Alex was back on his feet. “What do you think it is? Boy or girl?”

“I’d love a daughter.” Eliza mumbled, settling a hand on his stomach. “A little girl.”

“I want a boy. We’ll see.” He laughed and kissed her lovingly, wiping both their tears away. “I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too, Alex. I really do.”

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on tumblr at @mxsicalpup, feel free to leave kudos and a comment!!!


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